Trust. It's a bitch sometimes. Self doubt has the ability to take the reins and wrap its way deep into daily life, impacting every decision, thought, goal, or choice. Self doubt can sometimes feel like the all mighty, all powerful force controlling each detail, each moment. It can slap you in the face out of no where, even simply picking your ice cream flavor for the day... "are you sure you want chocolate mint? Cherry could be so much better."
So, self doubt is a part of each of us. It's that inner critic that both wants to protect and destroy, it is the enemy and the ally. I would seriously be surprised to meet any human that could honestly say they had never once in their life doubted themselves. The Buddha doubted himself, as did Jesus and Gandhi. Self doubt has got each one of us to where we are today, again, the enemy and the ally. And there have been moments, maybe many, maybe none, where trust has won favor, conquered the doubt and brought action into being.
Trust lives within us. That is what my coach (Kathy Ball Toncic, wonder woman herself!), has continuously had to remind me through the years. I am the only one who can choose to trust, to give my trust, and to receive others trust. It is my conscious choice to allow trust to lead me. So in those moments that self doubt creeps its slimy, sneaky way to the forefront of my thoughts and actions, I can pause and make a choice. A choice to trust or not to trust.
And maybe it takes weeks, months, or even years to just notice that the choice can be made in those moments, to decipher if self doubt is at work and if trust can swoop in. Maybe it takes weeks, months, years to build that inner trust. And maybe, with each moment that it is noticed, a pathway could shift, just a little bit, and trust will grow stronger, more natural, more alive. Then maybe, just maybe, self doubt will take the back seat, it might chime in every so often when it thinks it's needed, but trust will be the driver. What would be possible in your life if trust was in the drivers seat?